A few weeks ago I found myself at the steps of my work studio, my entire body pressed against the door in defeat, hot tears rolling down my cheeks – I’d forgotten my keys. I know what you’re thinking, “dramatic much?”. But let me paint this picture for you : I was running on three hours of sleep, I was late, my inbox was brimming, I’d spent the morning snapping at my partner, was fueled only by a cup of coffee, the winter sky was pouring that special mix of rain/snow and my anxiety level was through the roof.
I slid (admittedly dramatically) down the expanse of the door to find a seat on the wet ground, I took some deep breaths, I surrendered and I decided I was going to stop fighting so hard, I was going to flow.
I love this time of year. I love the buzz of the holidays and the excitement of the new year. I love snow flurries and an excuse to take endless hot baths . But I also find this time of year to be stressful, depressing and full of triggers for my anxiety. Luckily, I have tools to help me deal with these things. Here are some gentle reminders I give myself to clear space so I can really enjoy the winter months.
Ask for Support
Struggle can be isolating. Sometimes it feels really hard to ask the people in our lives to support us. Sometimes we feel undeserving of that support. Sometimes we’re in I can do it all by myself, I don’t need anyone mode. Do it anyway. Identify who in your life can hold safe space with you and let them know the small or big ways they can show up for you.
Guess what? It’s ok to say NO. Don’t want to go to that party? Don’t. Go. Don’t want to have that tired conversation with your Aunt about why there’s no ring on your finger? Just. Don’t. Be honest with yourself about what you need and want and act accordingly. Boundaries are hard but you can create them with love and intention and that is a beautiful thing. You get to do what’s best and healthiest for you – even if your Aunt gets offended 🙂
I love a ritual to remind myself that I’m a worthy, sensual, fully alive being. Here are a few of my personal favorites : A hot bath before bed, turn on some relaxing tunes, pour in some epsom salt and you’ll sleep like a baby. I also love a clay mask and facial massage in the morning.
Be Extra Kind to Yourself (and others)
I have a mantra. I give it to myself in the mirror daily and I freely give it to anyone I think might need it. It goes like this “You’re doing great. It’s alright. The universe will hold you”. This is my simple way of resetting and showing myself kindness. Give yourself a break, give others a break too. Take time for yourself, create space for yourself and encourage others to do the same. We all deserve it.
You’re doing great. It’s alright. The Universe will hold you.
Deirdre Skiles is the Founder and CEO of Detroit-based beauty and ritual line, Detroit Rose. Her ‘Tuberose’ candle collaboration with Detroit Blows is available in salon and in the Blows online store.